Meditation of the Day by O.Chambers

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My Prayer for today

Psalm 51

51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

I chose this prayer today because my heart is sad and somewhat in fear.  There was a time a few years back when I prayed this almost everyday and could not find any relief.

And for some reason I feel as though I need to be reminded of this.  I want to be found worthy.  For sometimes somewhere else is written in The Word that I have unclean lips.  I had not been feeling any love towards my step grandson because even though he is a child he sure has a strong willed spirit and it brings out the worst in me.  I have had to repent over and over.  But that is not all of it.  There is a few other other things that are causing me pain as well.  I wonder if because I have not been dreaming so much and I seem to confused as of late.  I know that I am not perfected and don’t know if I ever will be until the Day of our Lord.  All I know right now is that my heart feels heavy and in pain.  Sometimes I just blurt out things without thinking first.  Oh my Dear Sweet Savior please do not forget about me?  I know time is running out.  I have no desires for the things of this world.  I don’t want to know the wicked plans of the leaders of this world.  I just want to be in right standing with you.  I pray for those who do not understand the hour in which we live.  I pray that more and more people will come into your fold.  I know not how to speak at times.  And I also know that no one knows the time nor the hour in which You shall come as a thief in the night.  I thank You for giving me shelter and I ask for You to protect my granddaughters in this hour.  Oh do please quiet my heart.  Let me be full of Your confidence for my life.  Direct my painful feet in the way that I should go.  Discipline my mouth that I should only speak your truth.  Show me what is in my heart.  Father God please bring me ever so close to you, For You are worthy of all praise.  When I have this moment of doubt I feel sadness and fear and I feel insecure.  Give me that great compassion and mercy and joy.  If today I shall mourn for whatever it is replace it with joy everlasting.  I love you my Darling Sweet Savior.  Take not thy Holy Spirit from me.  Cleanse me from all unrighteousness.  Thank you My Love!

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The Book of Obadiah – Part 2

Source: The Book of Obadiah – Part 2

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EveryDay a New Beginning

As I ponder upon the years gone by, and the good, bad, and ugly, I am amazed at how this one verse is very true.

O give thanks unto the God of heaven: for his mercy endureth for ever.

I personally have to admit with all honesty that I have in no wise been a saint.  Although I have been wanting to and realize that without Him I can do nothing.  During my ordeal, from late summer 2009 until about late 2013 or even later than that I had forgotten who I was.  During 2009-2010 I had been in and out of hospitals and each time getting worse and worse.  I could not explain very well to the doctors why I was feeling the way I was feeling.  Even though, they suggested that I see a counselor, I did try.  But I knew a little too much about certain things.  I learned too much to fast even while in a ungodly marriage.  I knew I was a sinner but unable to trust anyone.  I knew about the 501c3 churches.  I knew the truth about the Catholic church and knew about the traditions that they adopted to lure the pagans into the church to change the heathens traditions to fit into their dogma.  It had always been my passion to learn the truth.   But in reality I could not share this with anyone in the flesh.  I felt like the lone ranger.  And because of this after my marriage was over in 2008 and I was in such a emotional turmoil, I just gave all my stuff away and decided I might find a better life elsewhere.  I was invited to go to Northern California by an elderly couple I had been acquainted with online for a couple of years.  So off I went, and it was like Oh my God!  What have I done?  I had to remove myself from that situation. Not that they were bad people but more like the environment was not at all what I thought it would be.  So we prayed.  “Lord, make a way where there is no way”.  Well the answer came and a woman drove 180 miles round trip to come take me to a shelter for women and children.  It was such a beautiful peaceful town.  I am still friends with a woman from there.  But I needed new hearing aids desperately.  And that town was way to small so Vocational Rehab sent me to Reddings, CA.  To a shelter there.  It was so different.  They only allowed one month to be there, and it was right around the holidays so I only had time for one appt.  The hearing test.  Time was running out and I panicked.  So I came back to Tampa, all the while on the way back terror was setting in.  I felt like I was not supposed to go back.  Stayed for about one month with my daughter and ex-boyfriend and it was not a good situation.  So I rented a room from a very good friend whom I used to work for.   Ended up with an inheritance from my 1st ex mother in law and I really panicked.  Bought a car that needed much work, got my own apt too.  And that is when things started to happen.  Settling down after all the chaos died.  I was still into the conspiracies and being in chat rooms.  But yet isolated from the world.  Christians were talking about living off the grid, living off the land, having places of hiding, and then finally I felt like I had failed.  I felt so unworthy.  Getting more depressed.  Trying my best to do it the natural healthy way.  But I just couldn’t.  So I went in and out of hospitals 6 times in less than a year.  Tried counseling.  Being on various medications.  I knew I wasn’t crazy, but I just got tired of being so depressed.  Nothing really helped.  I wasn’t really sure what was going on with me.  All I know is that I was filled with depression, terror, deep soul pain, and so very lost.  Guilt and shame of all the things I had done or didn’t do.  Feeling utterly abandoned and wanting to die off and on.  Not fully wanting to tell the truth to my doctors.  Because I still had this knowledge in the back of my mind but couldn’t trust anyone with it.  So I became silent.  No more signs and wonders and dreams.  Too weak to work.  Too terrorized to read the bible.  I went into disbelief in all the things that I thought I knew and believed.  Stopped talking to people.  Became addicted to one drug that even gave me the umph to go on.  I knew I just had to have this, at the same time I knew I shouldn’t have this.  So I have quit.  Finally once and for all I have quit.  I awoke to belief again early this year while still acting on this addiction, but more and more being convicted to stop.  I also know that there are other things that I believe that will disappear in due time and probably rather quickly.  I want to be part of the True Bride because time is running out.  I still do not trust this world.  Of course not.  With all that is coming into play, and the dreams of years gone by coming to pass.  I will close this with this one state that I have taken out of my scripture box this morning that has caused me to write this to begin with.

Lord,I am unworthy of all the kindnesses you have showered upon me in the past.  I thank you for your great love to me.  Help me to trust you for what I need.

“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go:  I will guide thee with mine eye.”  Psalm 32:8

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Today is Halloween

I was just reading an article on Halloween and where did it come from.  I didn’t even think to capture this author’s name.  Sorry about that.  In truth, he didn’t really know himself but gave many ideas as to where it came from.  All in all, it was a day to honor the dead.  And it really had nothing to do with it being evil.  But I do believe as time went along it became evil.  It wasn’t even called Halloween.  In OT times, to atone for sins God required animal sacrifices and the first crops of the harvest, in what was called The Feast of Atonement.

Think about this with me if you will.  Every day someone dies right?  And we grieve for that person.  And every year we think about that person whether on their birthday or their death.  A lot of people will go the gravesites and put flowers on their graves.  Or talk to that person as if he/she were still alive.  Well, one thing for sure, the bodies are in the graves but they are not.  Another thing is this:  People pray to saints and their loved ones as if their prayers will be answered.   (I have been guilty of this myself).  But to tell the truth, the dead can neither hear nor see.   I remember several years back I was on my knees praying.  At that time, I was “in love” with a man that was detrimental to my spiritual being.  We had broken up over some very ungodly reason.  I did not care as to what kind of man he was.  I was determined to have him at any cost.  So, I prayed to God this:  Lord, if you can’t tell me the answer will you please send my brother to me in a dream to tell me whether this man will come back in my life?  Well, guess what?  I had a dream.  My brother woke up from a deep sleep and looked at me and said, “I don’t know”.  Then I remembered something about praying to the dead.  And I repented.  After several months, that man did come back into my life.  And we got married.  We’re divorced now, Praise be unto God Almighty!  (now I don’t want to into that yet or if at all)

What I do want to get into:

My experience with Halloween.

I used to just love Halloween.  Dress up and get free candy.  Lots of free candy!  I knew nothing of the evil side of it at all.  It was just another fun day for me.  As I got older, while raising my 2nd born daughter, we did it for several years.  Even after I had joined this church, which was a Charismatic Methodist Church.  This one woman was trying to convince me how Halloween was evil and tried to show me a scripture in Deuteronomy somewhere and I paid no heed to her.  I was not convicted.  I was going to take my daughter trick or treating regardless of what anyone told me.  So I dressed up as this sexy witch.  (haha) And I stopped by that church that night.  Only for a few seconds since I was in a rich neighborhood with lots of candy.  And this man told me I shouldn’t come in there dressed like that.  He said I would scare the children.  I just told him that the Holy Spirit hasn’t told me otherwise.  He was the same man that once said in a small group home gathering that he would never hug a secular person.  I didn’t even know what secular meant.  I thought it was mean.  Anyways, for me I just outgrew Halloween.  I outgrew that church for it was killing me inside. Can’t do this, can’t do that. God will deliver you from this or that.  And yet when I really needed help where were they?

So what is my point?

My point is this.  After getting over the fear of what people told me about Halloween, I chose to just let it be.  It is none of my business as to what people do on Halloween.  I don’t celebrate it for my own reasons and I don’t miss it at all except for one thing….. Candy Corn!!!  One time out of the year they make Candy Corn.  Especially after Halloween when you can buy one and get one free.  Haha.  So I guess it depends on what your motives are for Halloween, who am I to judge?  I do however know that there are satanists that have their motives which of course, all men are deceived by everything.  I believe The Holy Spirit will convict each person of their own shortcomings and sins.  So in the meantime I will not be in fear of my darling grandbabies dressing up and getting free candy in which Grandma Bear will eat most of them anyways since my daughter is a health fanatic.

Have a good night in whatever you choose to do but don’t sacrifice any animals please because God no longer honors that.

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So Why Are You Catholic?

There are many things within the Church of Rome that are totally false.  And evil.  I am at a loss for words at times.  My family and friends or even strangers will defend this horrific religion.  There are many things that they do that is not even scriptural.  Not to mention that many religions follow in her steps as far as paganism goes.  And all the murders of innocent people through the centuries since Christ’s death.  And just where did they come up with Sacraments when it is not even biblical?  And the Rosary too.  Here is a statement I found about that in contrast to the scripture:

Matthew 6:7 – But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

Versus this…………

The Holy Rosary is one of three Sacramentals that the Blessed Virgin Mary has given to the Holy Catholic Church. In the thirteenth century, Mary gave the Rosary as a powerful weapon to mankind to combat the evils that were in this world as a result of the spiritual battle that is taking place between Satan and God. Since then, the blessings received through this Sacramental are beyond man’s count.

And to tell you the truth, I used to be catholic and loved having a rosary.  Even had one made for me.  As a little girl I loved being catholic.  However I am also grateful to come to the knowledge of truth.  So many prayers to memorize.  Ridiculous!!!  So many saints to remember?  And because the “Pope” decides who is a saint or not.  Who is this man that we should obey?  The Pope?

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.  Matthew 23:9

Yes it is quite interesting learning the truth of the Roman Catholic Church.  I am an ex catholic and am so very grateful to that.  Their beliefs is so twisted from the true meaning of the Word of God.  The main reason for sharing this is because I want to wake up the blind sheep.  Even to those catholics that have left the church and don’t know what to believe.  Not only the Catholic Church who is the head of all the other religions who broke off from her and yet still kept their traditions; they need to wake up too.

I will keep on sharing as time allows for this to go on.

May your eyes and ears be opened in these last days….

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A summary of my life prior to waking up

Are you deaf and blind?

Do you really even care?  There are many voices these days trying to sound the alarm and most people could care less.  Too busy to care or just don’t want to know.  This causes most true believers to be loners.  We are truly misunderstood.  Our knowledge falls on deaf ears.  Every now and then you may be able to share your knowledge and it is so exciting to do so until you find out they really don’t believe.  I am not popular by any means.  Most places I didn’t even fit in although I tried my best.  I was not a leader by any means, except when I got older I would be the first on the dance floor and could get the rest of the crowd dancing.  I had my own style and pretty much a lone dancer.  I love dancing but don’t dance rarely at all anymore.  I am hoping one day that when I get my new glorified body where I won’t be needing my hearing aids or glasses, to dance, dance, dance without getting tired or sweating.  I hope that God will accept my favorite music artists if they should happen to be saved.  I had two sides of dancing techniques.  Carnal and Holy.  Since I am deaf with hearing aids I still don’t understand the words but the beautiful voice and music especially from the 80’s.

I was born deaf on the 1st day of spring in 1962 in the City of Angels, Californa.  I used to say at least one good angel came out from there.  I wasn’t raised in Los Angeles but lived in quite a few cities in California until my family moved to Michigan in the summer of 1973.  I have had 3 mothers, and one father.  My first mother died when I was about 3, and I had a younger sister and an older brother.  Then my father married the second time and begat a half brother and a half sister.  I was sprinkled baptized in 2nd grade in Etiwanda at Sacred Heart Church where I also went to school there too for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade.  My 2nd mother realized I was deaf and not retarded like my father thought.  And they didn’t have the technology back then that they do now.  I wore a boxed hearing aid with a strap around my chest and a cord running to my glass earmold.  Yes, I said glass earmold.  One morning she slapped me across the face and broke the earmold in my ear.  I didn’t let her know and rode to school with another mom and her kids.  The school was several miles away.  My ear became bloody of course. I won’t go all into every detail of all the abuse that went on.  That is not what this blog is all about.

It is about my long journey to the truth of God’s word.  Being catholic I wasn’t taught to read the bible.  All I knew was that I loved to hear the organ playing and the songs that were played.  I went to catechism and the most I remember about that was my holy communion book.  Of course, I had a rosary and wore something around my neck with a saint on it.  I think it was Joseph.  I highly believed in the Ten Commandments and if I broke one I felt incredible guilt.  I had a fear of God since a child.  I just wanted to be good.  I just wanted to please my 2nd mother so I wouldn’t get punished.  Sometimes I wonder what I did so terrible as to deserve that kind of treatment.  No child should have to.  And some children had it worse than I.  I was very very sensitive.  Innocent.  Hoping that, I was just dreaming a nightmare and would wake up soon.  Nothing felt real.  Even when I started going to public school in 4th and 5th grade it didn’t get any better.  I didn’t want to go home, nor did I want to go to school, and I was afraid of God as well and or thought heaven was crying for me when it rained.  On a positive note, I went to speech therapy and learned to speak.  That was when it was found out that I was deaf in both ears and started wearing two behind the ears hearing aids.  I mostly had problems with S’s and R’s sounds.  Imagine trying to learn to say my own name.  Stacey.  Another word that was hard was Sister.  Or R words that I pronounced as W words.  My 2nd mother was responsible for that as well.  One word that I had to practice was definitely my name.  I hated my name.  But now I love it and its biblical meaning.  It means “resurrection”, One who shall rise again” and also, “Prosperous”.  I seem to experience “One who shall rise again” more often than not.  But more about that later.

As a child, I read a lot of Fairy Tales that in the end it would say “And they lived happily ever after.”  I also had my Holy Communion book with pictures.  One picture depicts Jesus (Yeshua) riding on a donkey with palm leaves everywhere.  Talking about He came to save people.  Usually, I was locked in my room as a child from the outside of the door.  One day I was staring at the picture and said aloud to myself, “oh Jesus, please save me”.  Like I said earlier while living in California before going to Michigan, I hated to face the kids at school, and I hated to go home to face my 2nd mother.  And I also had a strong sense of God watching me.

So yes, I was a very lonely little girl with few friends who just wanted to find Prince Charming and live happily ever after.  My father was a traveling salesman in California and left us 3 kids + 2 with my 2nd mother.  But when he did come home, but not really giving us much attention, we knew we were safe for the time being.  He acted like he didn’t know what was going on when he came home.  But I could tell he knew.  Carrying that invisible ball and chain around his ankle.  I was very love-starved.  My dad was always glued to the TV, and my 2nd mom was doing her own thing.  Us kids were mostly outside playing.  Or pulling weeds and got rewarded with Ice Cream in accordance with how many weeds we picked.  It was my older brother, myself, and my younger sister.  Not the other two, who were either not born or still young.  I was always slow with just about everything.  I knew how to read and write though.  I was very good at spelling and reading.  I learned to speak very well carefully punctuating every word.  And even to this day most hearing specialists when taking my hearing tests, are completely amazed how I speak as being profoundly deaf.  And I STILL do not know sign language.  I only went to deaf school in Kindergarten.  The next 3 grades were in a catholic school.  I thought I was proud to be catholic for a long time.  Even though by the time we moved to Michigan in 1973, we didn’t attend church as much.  At first we stayed with relatives. My 1st mother’s kids stayed with my dad’s oldest sister, my aunt and 5 cousins.  And my 2nd mother took the two younger ones (that was born of my dad’s blood) to her side of the family.  My father and all 3 of my mothers were from Michigan.  So we had a HUGE family.  Mostly in Canada.  French Canadians in Ontario.  Predominately Catholic.  There is a scripture I had read many years ago that stood out to me.

Romans 9:1-2King James Version (KJV)

I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost,

That I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart.

Also this…It stands out to me as well.

For in much wisdom [is] much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Ecclesiastes 1:18

It is very true.  I  never thought I would desire to seek the truth of God’s word.  But for some reason I always knew He was there.  I have more knowledge than I would ever learn in any church.  A few times I dreamed of scriptures than I knew not.  And did not know where it was written until I would tell someone the dream and they showed me where it was written.  I was thrilled!!!  But I also say this in truth, it is a rare occasion to find another human being to share these things.

I will close this post for now and publish it.  I feel in my heart while there is still some time left, maybe, just maybe, someone will understand.  This message is for everyone.  EVERYONE!!!!  Time for a reality check.  Concerning the scriptures above I pretty much did so much grieving.  Now it is time to share to anyone who is willing.  Good Night.

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